so i never update this thing anymore/never really did to begin with. i've been considering doing some fanart to post, but i don't have the patience. also, it seems as if i've forgotten how to draw. i'm so out of practice that it's sad. i guess that's what happens when you drop your pencils in favour of a camera. i haven't been taking any pictures lately, either. it's like...anti-art summer or something. who knows.

i feel the need to explain my username. i wish there were some way i could change it so that people don't mistake me for some weird BDSM creeper, which i am not. i'm a rising junior in university now, and i made this account when i was still in my first year of high school or something? i don't know, it was a long time ago. anyway, i was going through my awkward goth phase (something i'm totally over now) and had just finished a history/drawing project with a friend for my ancient legacies class. we had to design a castle and give ourselves roles in it, so i decided that i would be the dungeon master because, being a 4' 11 3/4" asian girl, i thought it'd be hilarious. except i ended up changing it to dungeon mistress. i thought it was so funny that i decided to make it my username for this site. AND OH, THE UNSPEAKABLE REGRET. it's such an isolated inside joke that nobody gets it but me and now i just sound like a fetishist.

does anybody know of any way i can just change my username without having to delete my gallery? actually, i don't even care about the gallery that much. there isn't much in it, but it'd be so annoying to have to find the files and reupload them. i'm more concerned about keeping track of all of my 234083467892342687892348902342089234 favourites.

help?

i've been taking film photography this past semester and, as laborious and perhaps outdated as it is, i love it. i love the look of it, the work involved, the time spent, the money wasted, and the satisfaction of it. it's very satisfying.

i still love digital, but film has taught me a lot about cameras that i didn't know before.

i'm going home for thanksgiving break in three days! i'm so excited to be on break and to see my family and my dogs

until i go back to new york.

god, i can't wait to go back. this summer has been so miserable.

it's weird that i miss the noise so much.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

"A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament. Its beauty comes from the fact that the author is what he is. it has nothing to do with the fact that other people want what they want. Indeed, the moment that an artist takes notice of what other people want, and tries to supply the demand, he ceases to be an artist, and becomes a dull or an amusing craftsman, an honest or dishonest tradesman. He has no further claim to be considered as an artist."

--Oscar Wilde.